Posted in Poetry

Poem + Small Update

Hi…this is awkward. It’s been a while, and my schedule is no longer alive…sorry. Anyway, I’m going on winter break soon so hopefully, I’ll be getting out all the posts that I’ve been mean to but for now, have this poem that I got inspired to write and have rewritten many times and am still not completely satisfied with it but I need some kind of validation.


Over it

So I have this thing
You can call it a crush, 
If you want

I thought it was a blip
An illogical thought
And sometimes I still think it is 

So I tell myself I’m over it

But…
The way she smiles catches me off guard

I’m over it but… 
My breath catches when I’m next to her

There’s a million things that should throw me off 
So I’m over it but…
I find everything so endearing 

I’m not in stats 
But I know it’s all highly improbable 
So I’m completely and totally over it

But…what does it mean when I’m blanking on a math test and she’s all I can think of?

I’m over it but…
Instead of doing homework I’m writing my first poem in forever
About her

But I’m over it…
Even though she’s the one I look to, not the camera

I say I’m over it but…
When she texts I fumble for a response
And when she doesn’t, I hope every notification is her

Denial isn't pretty but neither is rejection 
And that’s all I can think about as I watch her walk away

So I’m completely and totally over it…
But the class we share has got me in a mess  

Love you guys ❤

~calista

Posted in Fun Friday, Talking Story

Fun Friday: Two Podcasts I Love!

Heyo peeps!! Is it odd to see me posting three times in a week? It was kind of weird for me but let’s both get used to it because I hope to establish this as my weekly posting schedule. One of my goals for this year is to post more and that’s what I intend to do! So without further ado let me introduce you guys to Fun Friday, my Friday post theme.

Along with Music Monday and my Wednesday poetry posts, I hope to keep up Fun Friday. When I was in middle school, my advisory (homeroom) held Fun Fridays where we would play games or do something fun. Rather than playing games I have decided to dedicate Fridays to posts that are more personal to me (like my poems aren’t already pieces of my heart and brain lol). These posts will range from things I love, my fears, or just fun discussions.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

Today, for my first Fun Friday post I decided to begin with something light and easy, podcasts! I’ve recently gotten really into podcasts. I used to think that I wouldn’t have the attention span to pay attention to a 30 minute podcast with no visuals but I’ve found that they are great to listen to while getting ready in the morning or while doing chores.

Two podcasts that I’ve found myself listening to often are “SciShow Tangents” and “I Love It!” I haven’t caught up to the most recent episodes yet but they are both really interesting!

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

SciShow Tangents

“SciShow Tangents” is a fun way to learn intriguing science facts and is hosted by Hank Green, Ceri Riley, Stefan Chin, and Sam Schultz. They amaze and educate through a series of different friendly competitions based around a theme. There’s quick talking, tangents, and tons of odd facts.

I have to admit I at first only looked at it because Hank Green was one of the hosts but I quickly became intrigued by the odd themes and facts. I now hope to be able to spout out random facts and get some confused looks. Heh, don’t mind me just trying to start conversations. 😅 😂

Can be found @

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

I Love It!

“I Love It!” is hosted by Matthew Gaydos and it invites people to talk about the things they love. The topics range from the Scripps National Spelling Bee (that’s the first episode) to Star Wars.

I really love this podcast because I enjoy listening to people talk about what they love. It really inspires me; many of the interests I have is because someone expressed such a strong passion for it that it hooked my attention too. I haven’t pursued very many of the interests for prolonged periods of time but it’s always interesting to hear about the different subjects that people can talk about for hours.

Can be found @

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

While both can be found on different websites, I listen to them on Spotify. If you end up looking into on of them or both, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. >~<

Until we meet again…comment below what your favorite podcast is and enjoy some time catching up or re-listening to it.

~hiddengirl75 ❤

P.S.

A Piece of Wisdom

Image is from Pixabay, the quote, and the editing done to put the quote over it is not.
Posted in Poetry

Ready or NOT

I'm scared
Not ready to be an adult.

College student
Not college 
Who knows

Middle school me had everything figured out
College
Major 
Ready to leave the state 

Now I don't know anything
Don't want to study for tests 
Or walk the stage 

I just want to be a kid
Twirl around in the rain 
Laugh 
Be rebellious

Stay out past midnight 
Pancakes at 2 in the morning 
Drive around with no destination 

There's 2 years 'til I walk that stage 
No drivers license yet 
Or broken rules

I've laid low 
Stayed safe 
And studied for those tests 

I'm tired 
Anxious
And I just want to be a kid

Until we meet again…be a kid, have fun ❤

~hiddengirl75

P.S. Featured Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay

Posted in Poetry

Save Me

Save me from my own self destruction
A path I am stumbling down

Procrastination
Stress
Anxiety
Piles that touch the sky

Tearing myself down
No self confidence
Struggling to float

Drowning 
Grasping at air
Endless

Doom seems inevitable
My candle’s flame flickering out
One strong gust and it could disappear
I could disappear

So save me from myself 
The path of destruction 
I’ve set myself upon

School
A weight on my back
Life
A thing I am struggling to live

The bleakness that is my view
A window I stare out into
Empty, dark, endless

This is what the day brings
A harsh reality
A path to my doom

~hiddengirl75

P.S Not my image, found on Pinterest.

Posted in Poetry

Hero

Sometimes I think there’s a hero inside of me
A part of me that wants to save them all
To protect my friends
And stop untimely fictional deaths
Then there’s the days where
I can’t even save myself

So I don’t think it’s possible 
‘Cause how can you save someone
From what’s already happened
How can you save someone 
That’s already doomed

Harsh words 
That were spat out in fury
Heard by the one who would hurt the most

A beautifully written scene
Read by many, whose hearts broke
Who stained the pages with their tears
And begged for the impossible

So it would seem that it’s not possible
To save everyone, oh dear
So, sorry to the hero inside of me
But there is no hero here

I couldn’t save my friends
Or the characters that aren’t real
But how could you expect me to
When on some days I can’t even feel. 

~hiddengirl75

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Posted in Poetry

Bubbled

In my little bubble 
The world is rainbow colored
Safe, happy and peaceful
Simply ideal

Ever so often my bubble pops
And terror runs unreined
Human nature is terrifying 
And rather inhumane

They all claim to want peace
Yet arguments ensue
On the littlest of subjects
To human rights issues

Humans must have problems
Or Ares is a bit bored
It seems Hades will be welcoming
Many many more

I want to blow my bubble
And hide away once more
The world isn’t rainbow colored
And that is something
I really do not adore

It is not that simple though
As terror now reigns free 
It is in my bubble 
And terrifying me 

The world is in chaos
The prologue to a teenage novel
Dystopian, Sci-fi, or maybe History
Honestly it’s probably 
All bloody three

Who will face these problems
That humans have created
It almost seems as if 
They think logic is overrated

But maybe once things are solved
I won’t have to be in a bubble
To see a rainbow colored world

~hiddengirl75

Image by Thomas B. from Pixabay

Posted in Poetry

Honestly

Honestly 
I can't believe 
How many times 
You've crossed my mind

I reached for my phone 
To text you 
And you alone
But then I stopped halfway

I want to say I miss you
But I won't 
Since who would that help anyway

It hurts to look back
At the things we once had
Like our 24/7 conversations 
From yesterday

You've disappeared 
And now all I can feel 
Is heartbreak and disarray

~hiddengirl75

P.S Image by ElisaRiva from Pixabay

Posted in Poetry

A Passing Thought

How can it be? 
How is it that? 
How… has a person who meant so much…
Become just a passing thought?

You use to be the one
I waited for
Watched for texts from
And prayed would notice me.

Just days ago I figured
That you meant the world to me.
But now as I linger
The thought is not what I believed. 

I watched your texts come in. 
I saw what you had to say.
But now I'm not sure what I believe
As I read them and walk away. 

Hours pass
And thoughts drift by
You were once my main thought 
But now as the seconds fly by
You become a mere second thought
A breath that passes by.

Were my feelings wrong?
Did I misunderstand?
Or was I seeing through a pink stained glass with a clouded view?
It could be any of those
As it seems that I no longer can feel 
The butterflies
That used to swarm me
At every thought of you

I guess it’s all over 
And that this is goodbye
It was fun having you as my world
But now that I’ve let go…
My world has become my own.

~hiddengirl75

P.S. The featured image is not my photo, I found it on We Heart It.

Posted in Talking Story

Baking, Pancake Flops and more!

Hey guys, for some reason or another I always seem to find myself writing blogs in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s because I find peace within the silence and calm music or maybe it’s because I save my feelings until a time where no one is around to see them. Whatever it may be, tonight I felt like blogging.

In the midst of what is happening, I have gotten bored being stuck inside. I am sure that many people can agree with me, but has their boredom led to a need to make a soufflé pancake? Probably not. Being confined inside has resulted in the development of a craving for soufflé pancakes and the need to be able to prove that I can make it. The desire is simply overwhelming. They look so fluffy and sound absolutely delicious… just look at them…

Not my image or my pancakes 😭

Unfortunately I have yet to successfully make a soufflé pancake but I feel extremely close. I have attempted to create the fluffy masterpieces twice, and I have failed both times. Yesterday, I screwed up mixing in my egg whites and today, my egg whites just did not want to peak. These things are all probably my fault but, “Oh well” 🤷🏽‍♀️. My failures just make me so much more eager to try again. I am certain that I will succeed on my third attempt, like they say “Third times the charm.” Let’s hope whoever said that is right 😊.

On a more successful note, I made my very first cream puffs and they are simply delectable. I was so happy that they turned out delicious, and my little brother loves them. What made it even more exciting is that I made it from scratch all by myself. I love the satisfaction of having made the food myself and having people enjoy it. Of course, I had to follow a couple recipes but it still counts. Not everyone can be baking geniuses and create their own recipes. This does make me think about how I would love to try my hand at creating my own recipe, as it sounds like a lot of fun.

The making of the cream puffs was actually a two day process. The first day I made the pastry cream and on the second day I made the cream puff shells. I can confirm that it was totally worth it! Look at how amazing they turned out!

Wow

I don’t want to toot my own horn, but *toot toot*, like dang my photo and first attempt cream puffs look amazing. I am seriously proud of both my baking and photography skills. The lighting, arrangement, it’s just so beautiful *pretends to wipe tears from eyes*.

Now that I have gushed over my latest craving and baking success, let’s talk a little about what is happening now around us. I realise that I may have skipped over it like it was nothing in the beginning but honestly it is a really big deal.

I am seriously uneducated on what is happening with the progress of moving forward if it has nothing to do with school, so bear with me. Since I have nothing much to offer in news about COVID-19, which I shouldn’t have to educate you on since knowledge is a simple click away, I can encourage you to stay safe and healthy. Make sure to wash your hands often and practice social distancing. Besides being completely safe, I can agree that it is boring being inside so instead of starring at an electronic screen take this time and learn something new or check something off of your long to do list or bucket list. Honestly I should take my own advice, because I have watched one too many youtube videos during this time.

Stay safe and until we meet again…

~ hiddengirl75 💕

Posted in Poetry

Mumbo Jumbo

Mumbo Jumbo
That's my phrase
To describe 
What goes on 
Up in my brain
Too many thoughts 
And projects to name
Personal 
Or otherwise publically named
Take deep breaths
And write it out
But wait...
Hold up...
I forgot it all just now. 
What a mess. 
What to do?
Nothing ever comes out just right.
What about for you?
You see, 
When I start to multi-task
Lamas yodle 
And start to to ask
And look
There it goes
My mumbo jumbo mind
Trailing off again
And now I've forgotten
The next 5 lines
For now I'll try
To organize
My mumbo jumbo mind. 

~ hiddengirl75

P.S. Isn’t my little messy brain dude, just so adorable. I drew him myself on the google drawings thingy in drive. I’m kind of proud of it. 😆