Hi…this is awkward. It’s been a while, and my schedule is no longer alive…sorry. Anyway, I’m going on winter break soon so hopefully, I’ll be getting out all the posts that I’ve been mean to but for now, have this poem that I got inspired to write and have rewritten many times and am still not completely satisfied with it but I need some kind of validation.
So I have this thing
You can call it a crush,
If you want
I thought it was a blip
An illogical thought
And sometimes I still think it is
So I tell myself I’m over it
The way she smiles catches me off guard
I’m over it but…
My breath catches when I’m next to her
There’s a million things that should throw me off
So I’m over it but…
I find everything so endearing
I’m not in stats
But I know it’s all highly improbable
So I’m completely and totally over it
But…what does it mean when I’m blanking on a math test and she’s all I can think of?
I’m over it but…
Instead of doing homework I’m writing my first poem in forever
But I’m over it…
Even though she’s the one I look to, not the camera
I say I’m over it but…
When she texts I fumble for a response
And when she doesn’t, I hope every notification is her
Denial isn't pretty but neither is rejection
And that’s all I can think about as I watch her walk away
So I’m completely and totally over it…
But the class we share has got me in a mess
Heyo peeps!! Is it odd to see me posting three times in a week? It was kind of weird for me but let’s both get used to it because I hope to establish this as my weekly posting schedule. One of my goals for this year is to post more and that’s what I intend to do! So without further ado let me introduce you guys to Fun Friday, my Friday post theme.
Along with Music Monday and my Wednesday poetry posts, I hope to keep up Fun Friday. When I was in middle school, my advisory (homeroom) held Fun Fridays where we would play games or do something fun. Rather than playing games I have decided to dedicate Fridays to posts that are more personal to me (like my poems aren’t already pieces of my heart and brain lol). These posts will range from things I love, my fears, or just fun discussions.
Today, for my first Fun Friday post I decided to begin with something light and easy, podcasts! I’ve recently gotten really into podcasts. I used to think that I wouldn’t have the attention span to pay attention to a 30 minute podcast with no visuals but I’ve found that they are great to listen to while getting ready in the morning or while doing chores.
Two podcasts that I’ve found myself listening to often are “SciShow Tangents” and “I Love It!” I haven’t caught up to the most recent episodes yet but they are both really interesting!
“SciShow Tangents” is a fun way to learn intriguing science facts and is hosted by Hank Green, Ceri Riley, Stefan Chin, and Sam Schultz. They amaze and educate through a series of different friendly competitions based around a theme. There’s quick talking, tangents, and tons of odd facts.
I have to admit I at first only looked at it because Hank Green was one of the hosts but I quickly became intrigued by the odd themes and facts. I now hope to be able to spout out random facts and get some confused looks. Heh, don’t mind me just trying to start conversations. 😅 😂
“I Love It!” is hosted by Matthew Gaydos and it invites people to talk about the things they love. The topics range from the Scripps National Spelling Bee (that’s the first episode) to Star Wars.
I really love this podcast because I enjoy listening to people talk about what they love. It really inspires me; many of the interests I have is because someone expressed such a strong passion for it that it hooked my attention too. I haven’t pursued very many of the interests for prolonged periods of time but it’s always interesting to hear about the different subjects that people can talk about for hours.
Not ready to be an adult.
Middle school me had everything figured out
Ready to leave the state
Now I don't know anything
Don't want to study for tests
Or walk the stage
I just want to be a kid
Twirl around in the rain
Stay out past midnight
Pancakes at 2 in the morning
Drive around with no destination
There's 2 years 'til I walk that stage
No drivers license yet
Or broken rules
I've laid low
And studied for those tests
And I just want to be a kid
Save me from my own self destruction
A path I am stumbling down
Piles that touch the sky
Tearing myself down
No self confidence
Struggling to float
Grasping at air
Doom seems inevitable
My candle’s flame flickering out
One strong gust and it could disappear
I could disappear
So save me from myself
The path of destruction
I’ve set myself upon
A weight on my back
A thing I am struggling to live
The bleakness that is my view
A window I stare out into
Empty, dark, endless
This is what the day brings
A harsh reality
A path to my doom
Sometimes I think there’s a hero inside of me
A part of me that wants to save them all
To protect my friends
And stop untimely fictional deaths
Then there’s the days where
I can’t even save myself
So I don’t think it’s possible
‘Cause how can you save someone
From what’s already happened
How can you save someone
That’s already doomed
That were spat out in fury
Heard by the one who would hurt the most
A beautifully written scene
Read by many, whose hearts broke
Who stained the pages with their tears
And begged for the impossible
So it would seem that it’s not possible
To save everyone, oh dear
So, sorry to the hero inside of me
But there is no hero here
I couldn’t save my friends
Or the characters that aren’t real
But how could you expect me to
When on some days I can’t even feel.
In my little bubble
The world is rainbow colored
Safe, happy and peaceful
Ever so often my bubble pops
And terror runs unreined
Human nature is terrifying
And rather inhumane
They all claim to want peace
Yet arguments ensue
On the littlest of subjects
To human rights issues
Humans must have problems
Or Ares is a bit bored
It seems Hades will be welcoming
Many many more
I want to blow my bubble
And hide away once more
The world isn’t rainbow colored
And that is something
I really do not adore
It is not that simple though
As terror now reigns free
It is in my bubble
And terrifying me
The world is in chaos
The prologue to a teenage novel
Dystopian, Sci-fi, or maybe History
Honestly it’s probably
All bloody three
Who will face these problems
That humans have created
It almost seems as if
They think logic is overrated
But maybe once things are solved
I won’t have to be in a bubble
To see a rainbow colored world
I can't believe
How many times
You've crossed my mind
I reached for my phone
To text you
And you alone
But then I stopped halfway
I want to say I miss you
But I won't
Since who would that help anyway
It hurts to look back
At the things we once had
Like our 24/7 conversations
And now all I can feel
Is heartbreak and disarray
How can it be?
How is it that?
How… has a person who meant so much…
Become just a passing thought?
You use to be the one
I waited for
Watched for texts from
And prayed would notice me.
Just days ago I figured
That you meant the world to me.
But now as I linger
The thought is not what I believed.
I watched your texts come in.
I saw what you had to say.
But now I'm not sure what I believe
As I read them and walk away.
And thoughts drift by
You were once my main thought
But now as the seconds fly by
You become a mere second thought
A breath that passes by.
Were my feelings wrong?
Did I misunderstand?
Or was I seeing through a pink stained glass with a clouded view?
It could be any of those
As it seems that I no longer can feel
That used to swarm me
At every thought of you
I guess it’s all over
And that this is goodbye
It was fun having you as my world
But now that I’ve let go…
My world has become my own.
P.S. The featured image is not my photo, I found it on We Heart It.
Hey guys, for some reason or another I always seem to find myself writing blogs in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s because I find peace within the silence and calm music or maybe it’s because I save my feelings until a time where no one is around to see them. Whatever it may be, tonight I felt like blogging.
In the midst of what is happening, I have gotten bored being stuck inside. I am sure that many people can agree with me, but has their boredom led to a need to make a soufflé pancake? Probably not. Being confined inside has resulted in the development of a craving for soufflé pancakes and the need to be able to prove that I can make it. The desire is simply overwhelming. They look so fluffy and sound absolutely delicious… just look at them…
Unfortunately I have yet to successfully make a soufflé pancake but I feel extremely close. I have attempted to create the fluffy masterpieces twice, and I have failed both times. Yesterday, I screwed up mixing in my egg whites and today, my egg whites just did not want to peak. These things are all probably my fault but, “Oh well” 🤷🏽♀️. My failures just make me so much more eager to try again. I am certain that I will succeed on my third attempt, like they say “Third times the charm.” Let’s hope whoever said that is right 😊.
On a more successful note, I made my very first cream puffs and they are simply delectable. I was so happy that they turned out delicious, and my little brother loves them. What made it even more exciting is that I made it from scratch all by myself. I love the satisfaction of having made the food myself and having people enjoy it. Of course, I had to follow a couple recipes but it still counts. Not everyone can be baking geniuses and create their own recipes. This does make me think about how I would love to try my hand at creating my own recipe, as it sounds like a lot of fun.
The making of the cream puffs was actually a two day process. The first day I made the pastry cream and on the second day I made the cream puff shells. I can confirm that it was totally worth it! Look at how amazing they turned out!
I don’t want to toot my own horn, but *toot toot*, like dang my photo and first attempt cream puffs look amazing. I am seriously proud of both my baking and photography skills. The lighting, arrangement, it’s just so beautiful *pretends to wipe tears from eyes*.
Now that I have gushed over my latest craving and baking success, let’s talk a little about what is happening now around us. I realise that I may have skipped over it like it was nothing in the beginning but honestly it is a really big deal.
I am seriously uneducated on what is happening with the progress of moving forward if it has nothing to do with school, so bear with me. Since I have nothing much to offer in news about COVID-19, which I shouldn’t have to educate you on since knowledge is a simple click away, I can encourage you to stay safe and healthy. Make sure to wash your hands often and practice social distancing. Besides being completely safe, I can agree that it is boring being inside so instead of starring at an electronic screen take this time and learn something new or check something off of your long to do list or bucket list. Honestly I should take my own advice, because I have watched one too many youtube videos during this time.